daily pilgrimage

for all things Mr. Sherry

2010-01-25T08:12:00.000-06:00

I don't post here any longer. (haven't for a while, though I'm sure few had noticed.)
to follow my escapades, try flavors.me/sherry. It will generally have whatever updates are necessary. Try it.

Huckabee for coup d’état?

2007-12-19T12:50:00.000-06:00

Quite a few people are nit-picking the former Arkansas governor; everything from his religion, to his acceptance of gifts.

What I really want to know... Is he smarter than a 5th grader?

(The interesting part starts around 4:22)

a portion of the transcript:

KING: Would you change or would you keep don't ask/don't tell?

HUCKABEE: I probably would let the military make that decision. One thing I don't think you need is a president who's trying to tell the military how to run the military, other than set broad policy agenda. The Uniform Code of Military Conduct is the best way to handle that and I would leave it to -- to those who run the military.

The White House has a defininition of the executive branch of our government:

The power of the executive branch is vested in the President, who also serves as Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces. The President appoints the Cabinet and oversees the various agencies and departments of the federal government.

Then there's the Constitution:

The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States...

Granted, should the President get involved in the day-to-day dealings of our military? Should he tell the Generals when and how to wipe their ass? He should be able to trust the people that are in those positions, and their ability to lead, fine. Here, Huckabee seems to be skirting what he truly considers to be a big issue. Don't ask, don't tell is a "broad policy" that had been approved by a former administration, an administration who apparently understood what the role of a president is.

Huckabee is a politician, and politicians will always skirt the issues. But, once elected, are they going to keep hedging around their duty? All I'm sayin' is... It's the Presidents job, to lead the military forces of the United States. That's his job. If someone doesn't understand the job he's applying for, should they even be there?

2007-07-30T18:01:00.000-05:00

Most people are on the world, not in it.— have no conscious sympathy or relationship to anything about them— undiffused, separate, and rigidly alone like marbles of polished stone, touching but separate.
- John Muir

Small Talk (about the weather.)

2006-10-23T17:16:00.000-05:00

Today I was about my normal business, picking up rented supplies from various houses. As usual, had little-to-no contact with any customers... Except for one talkative retired gentleman.

"Pretty fancy truck you have here."

I was crouched over in the truck, attempting to give myself a bad back before I was half his age. "You think so?"

"Well," he looked the truck over, assessing it's merits and drawbacks in a glance, "It has a lot of tie-downs everywhere."

When I think fanciness on a truck, I'm thinking more like a paint-job, or chrome bumpers.

"How 'bout that Indian Summer, huh?"

I looked at the man, snow swirling around him... Ornery smile on his face. "Oh yeah, definitely. Heat wave, real soon."

a lifetime & ½ later...

2006-06-13T18:39:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time

Been a long time

Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, time.

...Yes it has.

Sooo... Where have I been? What have I done? Oh my, oh my... Are you sure you want to know? Oh so very much. Lots... Tons... Egads! Volumes, even. Oh the stories I could tell, the times I've had. I mean, when you look at it, all that I've done. ...Just really look at it, study it, boil it down... It's not much. Just a little of this, and a bit of that. Oh, but if you were to take all those thats and the this's, too... Stretch 'em all out, and fasion 'em into a quilt... We-he-he-hell then... Now you're talkin. It may not be a particularly warm quilt, but darn tootin' it's a big 'un. Twin size, at least.

I'll tell ya what I haven't been doing. And it actually makes me pretty mad at meself. Aye, it does.

Painting. That's what. Possibly you recall this post: nitetime stroll. When I testified of my reclaimed passion for all things artsy. Fartsy. Chartsy, dartsy, heartsy, bartsy, wal-martsy, poppa-ooo-mowmow-nimbley-dimbley-wartsy. (Or.. You don't recall it. Don't feel bad, dingleberry. Just click on the link!) Well, since then, I have painted, not zillions, not trillions, not kawhamjillions, but one... and a half pieces. Woop woo. Now, I could blame all this on several things; not enuff time. Which isn't too far off, I mean... I am busy setting up parties all day, every day... I am a Rent-A-Roadie. We're always on call. Or... I could say, lack of canvas. "BuShito!" That's what you would say. Even the fact that my muse, and preferred model happen to be out of town, not good enuff. I need to start slingin' paint again! With the passion and fervor I feel for it... I'm just too freakin' lazy.

Boo!

Anyway, I hope to throw down some pigment, soon. we'll see.

Best Laid Plans... Suck Again!

2006-01-23T14:52:00.000-06:00

It was a long night. Here I was four miles from Mansfield, Ohio... In a ditch. It was a very long night.

Well, I wasn't dead. As far as I could tell, I wasn't bleeding, and I was right-side up. Good signs so far. I turned the key, the car wouldn't start, but I used the wipers to brush off the pile of snow. In front of me was a guardrail, and the road I was supposed to be on. Pulling myself from the car, I was greeted in the face by blinding headlights and a phantom voice.

"You allright?"

"Yeah, I'm good to go!" I felt like I had to shout over the sound of his semi.

"OK... Well, I'll try and get some help for you. You can get in the truck, and get out of the cold."

I tried to start the car a few more times, nothing but the whine of the starter. I grabbed my coat from the passenger seat and headed for the bright lights. The trucker opened up the cab for me and I climbed in. This wansn't my first time in a truck, but it had been a while. The trucker went around and climbed into the drivers side, and greeted me with a warm smile. He started fiddling with knobs and such, reported the accident on his CB. He told me he had seen it, and it appeared that I had fallen asleep. Being that I don't remember much of it, and I don't often drive myself into ditches for sport, I confirmed his guess. I had been sleepy for quite a bit.. basically since I stopped to see my mother in Columbus. As we were talking, the passing truckers started complaining about us, so he turned off the CB. We talked about this and that for a bit. Apparently, he was going to a Bible school just north of Columbus, studying to be a pastor.

The cop was a typical hard-nosed Ohio State Trooper. Although, this guy had apparently had a slow night, and was just thankful he had something to do, if it was only taking a report, and talking to some punk about Springfield Missouri. He hated Ohio weather, so he was asking about 'Out West', where we hardly get snow. He stuck around only long enough to see that the tow truck latched onto my car, then I suspect he went to get some coffee, and deep-fried dough rings. (if you catch my drift.. bahohohoho.)

There he was, glorious as could be, a blinking yellow halo shining round about him. My Towtruck Driver. We tried again to start my bohemoth, and again, nothing. He got out his chains and his hooks and dug right in to the deep snow. I stood around with the proverbial thumb, in my proverbial you-know-where. I just paced, mulling over the various worst-case scenarios playing like movie previews in my brain.

After removing my car from the snow and changing the flat tire, we tried to start my beast once more. It didn't start. It did, however, dispense about half a gallon of fuel all over the ground. I crammed myself into the cab, along with the driver's sleeping daughter. We headed for my bastion of hope, Cook Road Baptist Church. It was the only place I had ever heard of in Mansfield, besides The Reformatory. I think the church seemed a bit more welcoming.

...To Be Continued...

My Eye! To Be Continued... I and you were fools to think that there would ever be an ending to that post. basically.. I live. If you want to know the semi-amusing details, ask me sometime.. if you would like to read them, bring a typewriter when you ask. ...Have a great day!

A space odyssey

2005-12-14T19:25:00.000-06:00

Put your tray tables in an upright position.

2005-12-13T00:15:00.000-06:00

"There is death in the camera." - C.S. Lewis

To the Zoo! ...without you.

2005-12-02T19:09:00.000-06:00

The Zoo
Without You
It could've been us two
You and I
At that zoo
But, when I went
I went without you.
We could've seen the Hippo, a monkey too
If I'd spent the day with you
At the zoo.

I really wish I'd taken you there
The Giraffes would've liked your curly hair
The Peacocks strutting all their flair
Would have been jealous
Of the time we'd share.
You know, together,
At the zoo.

We'd skip the snakes
(Don't want to see their dead skin flakes.
Instead we would feed the ducks
and the geese on the lakes
Maybe we could've
...brought some cakes?
No, they sell those
At the zoo.

Maybe during Christmas
Just me and you
We could both go
to the zoo.
Sure, it's not as neat as Boston
(but, it's a whole lot closer, too)
And, if you want we could meet others
At the zoo.

(Or... They could ride with us. That might work better. Who knows? But, I'm saying it might be fun for some friends to come along. Not as fun as Monopoly. But.. eh.)

Dickerson Park Zoo

Don't Drown in the Yuletide.

2005-12-01T21:19:00.000-06:00

Ahh yes, Turkey Day has passed, and I can now allow myself to let the Christmas spirit loose.

Well, I believe in taking a stand against the 'Christmas Season' that comes earlier and earlier every year. Not that I'm against Christmas in any way... Or a vigilante anti-consumer... or anything.
*ahem*
But... I remember the days (vaguely, mind you...) when Christmastime was the time around Christmas. When Santa wasn't done working on his toys and such, 'till after Thanksgiving. It gave the Christmas season a bit more excitement. You weren't tired of hearing Bing Crosby by December thirteenth. Nowadays, they have Hallowe'en Egg Nog. Egg Nog at Hallowe'en? That makes little to no sense. Christmas time should be relegated to Christmas time. Soon, it will be creeping into August. Kinda takes away a bit of the 'specialness' of the Yule season. And, it makes the 12 days of christmas make little sense.
Just a few holiday songs, to get you lost in the yuletide.

music video.

2005-11-14T17:00:00.000-06:00

so, as i was scouring the web one evening, i came across this video on someone's myspace.. and i liked it. so. i'll put it here. for you.

Sigur Ros - Glósóli

( ^ click on play. you know, if you want to play it.)

One Weekend a month...

2005-11-11T01:26:00.000-06:00

You know how the commercials go. That's all it takes to be a National Guardsman. And, think of all the benefits: over $60,000 to pay for college, three-thousand bucks a year... Just to pay off school loans, boundless adventure, education for civilian jobs... All this, for just one weekend a month, two weeks a year.

...And then there's reality. Yes, that's all they ask, part time service. But, life isn't that simple. Ever.

Meg McDermott is a single mother raising two kids on her own. Real life is hectic enough, keeping food on the table, getting the kids to school, keeping her head above water. Now, she must go to Baghdad.

It's a new short film starring Renee O'Connor (incidentally, she's the only reason to ever watch Xena...) Running only thirteen minutes, yet as powerful as a feature film; it tells the story of a single mother's life completely unraveling, after just one phone call.

Trailer

Whole Film, on Google.

duh....ks. duh-ks. duhks. quack.

2005-10-22T18:19:00.000-05:00

The thirteen year olds (average American thirteen year olds, mind you... in what is supposedly 'redneck-country') beside me are talking in Japanese.
...Just thought it was interesting.

But, really I'm here to talk about the duhks(pronounced, 'ducks' like 'once I had a little rubber duckie-oh, little rubber duckie-oh.).

I stumbled across their CD in the country section of Wal-Mart... But I wouldn't define them as country. Almost folk, but not quite. Acoustic, yes, but not bland. Really, they are undefineable. You should listen, even if they are from Canada. I know a few Canadians and, hey, they're O.K. Honest.

Moonlighting as a... bad titlist strikes again!

2005-10-17T17:23:00.000-05:00

I am horrible at titles.

Really.
I am.

Believe it.

I always have been bad.. If more people read what I write, I could be notorious for it. However, notoriety only comes with a large fan base; and that, I do not have.
My friend Dan, on the other hand... He prides himself on good titles. In fact, Most of the time from my recollection, he spends exorbant amounts of thought and time into titling his posts, and very little in the actual writing of them. This explains why his last post the moon isn't made of honey was written almost two months ago. I'm sure that he really has a post waiting on the back-burner... Just waiting for that Emeril-like inspiration to 'Bam!' season his post with the correct title.

But, that's not what this is about.

Nay, It's about my day yesterday. (nay, day, yesterday... geez. That's annoying.) It was just one of "those" days. On "those" days, I like to go for a drive. Ya know? Just drive, get away, feel alive. I don't wanna face my problems, anymore... err... Anyway. So I went for a drive. From Ozark to Marionville. Marionville, Missouri though... Not Indiana. Indiana is entirely too far away for just a little moonlit jaunt. Here's a map to give you a rough idea of my travels, if you're really that interested. Or, a needy stalker. Really... The map is wrong, 'cause I took the long way to Marionville... I followed route 14 the whole way, instead of getting on 60. So.. yep.

But, geez, it was a nice drive. Just me, a few top-of-my-lungs-sang country songs, and the clear moonlit road. Whew. Whadda Nite. And Whadda Girl.
Yeah, she has nothing to do with the drive... But, hey, I like her, and... 'Nuff Said!

Time is Money... and a Penny Saved is a Good Start to Buying a Watch.

2005-10-14T16:35:00.000-05:00

~~that makes little to no sense.

So, someone played Super Mario Brothers... and beat it... in 5:09.

I could berate him and mock him for having no life, not doing anything productive, etc....

But, I'm the one who was browsing the internet for who-knows-how-long... and stumbled upon the video clip of it.

...I don't have much of a platform, now.

Hitch-Hiking Via Cell-phone.

2005-10-12T13:09:00.000-05:00

...'Cause that's what I did to see my girlfriend. Yes, that's right. Girlfriend.

So, I had a chance to go to Ohio. Not all that exciting. I mean, I love Ohio and all.. I love my hometown of Canton. I wish I could write a book about it, and then someone would make a movie, and Canton would be famous and... Yeah. However, to visit for a weekend, not too exciting. The offer was there though, and my not-so-creative mind got a ticking.

So I bought a map.

I looked over this map, measuring things with my finger and a protractor; checking the legend for symbols and railroads. I thought, "well, the ole' buckeye is a heck of a lot closer to virginny than Missour-a... hmm..." Yes, I often think like a hick. Redneck thoughts aside, I was right, those geography classes payed off. Ohio is a good ten hours closer. Then my brain got a workin' over-time. Though I've been wanting to take a long-distance hike lately... This didn't seem to be the time. My first thought was to ask my brother to use his car... Not likely. It seemed hopeless.

That's a lie... I just wanted to say 'hopeless' to give you some suspense.

I was talking to the little lady on the phone... And she mentioned that her parents were coming down for a weekend. Well... My mind latched onto that; like a bum on a ham & cheese sandwich. I thought, "hmm... If I were to arrive in Canton at 1600 hours, I would have just enough time to get my gear and under the cover of darkness, sneak 'commando-style' to her parents house. Then, at dawn, after I have a few pop-tarts and a cup of coffee from my thermos, I could shimmy under her parents car.. I could hold onto the under carriage, like Charles Bronson, and then roll out at the last minute, and sneak up on her all unsuspecting like." Seemed like the perfect plan, surprise, adventure, and grease all mixed up into one. Couldn't go wrong. As I told my brother my great idea, I noticed his wide-eyed expression, followed by his shaking head and belly-laugh. I couldn't understand. I was following in the footsteps of great action films and television shows such as MacGuyver and The A-Team. Why the hearty laugh and mocking tone? Well... My brother isn't one much for daring-do, and he said I should just ask her parents. Ask her parents?! Chuck Norris wouldn't ask to roundhouse kick someone... James Bond wouldn't ask Dr. No's parents if he could thwart his world domination plot... And Indiana Jones wouldn't ask the Nazi's if he could lash them with whips. It just doesn't happen.

Well... After further consideration, a phone call would be a much easier undertaking than an ambush. Plus, I was seeing my Girlfriend, not infiltrating a Communist military outpost. I have to get it thru my mind, espionage and dating are far different worlds. So, I asked, the answer was a quick and hearty yes, therefore... I was in Virginia for the weekend. It was kind of a close call, I arrived in Ohio at... 7:30 in the morning, and her parents were supposed to pick me up at 8. If there would have been bad traffic or anything... I can't imagine the chaos that would ensue. ...Really, chaos.

So, of course, it was a great weekend. I got to know her parents a lot more. Dang are they fun. Even better, I got to see her, and hang out with her. She is such a great girl. I miss her terribly already, and I've only been back for three days or so. I honestly can't wait 'till Thanksgiving, when I get to see her again.

Movie Buzz.

2005-09-28T02:44:00.000-05:00

A few off-kilter* flicks I really want to see:

Murderball -saw it... 10/1

Me and You and Everyone We Know -saw it... 9/28

My Date With Drew

and... I may get a chance to see 'em too! Because of a new little theatre downtown called...

The Moxie.

oooh... yes. exciting.

* -- indie... or something you wouldn't think I would wanna see.

mmm.. tunes.

2005-09-24T17:15:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note: Check out Cartel. Yeah, they're pop-punk which has been done and overdone. And yes, they mostly sound like everyone else. But.. They do have one good good good song. Three goods? You betcha -- they deserve it.

So.. You can listen to the song on their purevolume site. And, it's called 'The Ministrel's Prayer'. Yeah, it's good. And, if you don't agree... If you don't get the same sweet enjoyment that I experienced, that same awestruck gaze, that same pitter-patter of your music-lovin heart, that same... I've run out of things. But, if you don't dig it as much as I; when I happened upon that fine piece of musicianship...

Well, sucks to be you.

...oh, and thanks goes out to Cutler. I love your music tastes, man.

Shakespeare, Who?

2005-09-19T19:20:00.000-05:00

So... Just an explanation, I have a long drive to work every morning. Usually pretty early in the morning, when my head is just getting oriented to being awake. So.. I think of odd things. This morning... A poem popped into my head. A poem, which may or may not be about a certain girl.

...It is.

I know a girl
prettier than a pearl
...Ever could be
oh yeah, she's gorgeous
even when her hair
isn't so curly

see...

she's nifty,
neato,
she's all those things
and when I talk to her
my heart just sings

even when we argue
like, about the heredity of a twin
I can't do anything
'cept sit back and grin

yeah, this is kinda silly
maybe cheezy. ok, it's dumb
but I wonder what this girl
sees in this bum.

...

no, no, no,
I didn't mean the butt
just a guy,
who's kind of a nut.

Take three of these, and call me after the heart attack.

2005-09-05T03:36:00.000-05:00

I fell asleep...

At a computer...

In the library...

I hit my head on the keyboard.

"Why In The World?" You ask? After several somewhat late nites spent talking... To a certain girl. In a certain state. Certainly far away from Missouri. I... The veritable genius that I am, decided to stay up late. Extremely late. Dang it, I didn't even go to sleep.

Of course, to make it all the more exciting, I had to open that oncoming morning.

Not only did I have to open. I had to prep, which means I would be wielding many sharp objects throughout the day. This could only mean trouble. What, I ask, rhetorically mind you. What could I do to ensure alertness, in this most beclouded hour. Yeah, I know, 'beclouded hour' makes little to know sense. But, I like The Blue Rajah. Well, when I feel I have reached that pinnacle of exhaustion, I know only one thing can sustain me, only one can pull me thru.

Coffee.

Ok, ok... You're right. I'm making it sound like I only drink coffee when I'm tired. Rest assured, I drink coffee much much much more often than that. However, this time I knew it wouldn't take a mere cup o' joe. No, sir. I made a double 'Shot in the Dark'. That's a cup of drip coffee, black of course. With a double-shot of espresso to top it off. Oh, and when I say I made A double 'Shot in the Dark' I mean three. On an empty stomach... Of course. I mentioned the genius-ness, didn't I? You could say I had a small case of the 'jitters' that morning. Of course, as we all know... Even the blessed wonder of a caffeine buzz wears off sometime, which brings us to me being in the library. Once my shift was over, I wanted to check my email and maybe write a few witty lines of prose, per usual. That plan was dashed to pieces; when I found myself drooling on the keyboard. I promptly headed on home to slumber.

...For the next eleven hours.

Did I learn anything from this? Yes, but I'm sure I'll forget it soon enuff. I always do.

The Return.

2005-08-17T17:12:00.000-05:00

or Welcome Back, Cotter.
or Back in Black.
or Back in The Saddle.

That's right, I'm back in Springfield, Missouri. The Land of ...Not Much. Despite the city's inadequacy; an air excitement exudes from my very core. However, this excitement has little to do with my return, and more to do with the days before my departure. 'Specially that Wednesday, you know the one. If you don't, well... That Wednesday, it is the reason for this persistent grin I can't seem to shake.

Sooo... Anyway... I started back at Panera, pretty pumped about that. A lot of newbies there, but, most of my old friends are still kickin' it ...bread style? I just really wanted to say 'kickin' it' ...sorry. Ahem. Oh, I was in a wedding. Groomsman. My good friend Dan was the groom. And, I was his man. Err, I accompianied him. Not musically, although I was pushing for a piano solo. I stood with him. Well, on the steps really... Kinda behind/beside him. Catercornered at a 45° angle kinda deal. It was a nice wedding. Stephanie (the bride) looked great. And there was confetti cake afterward. As far as I know, you cannot go wrong with confetti cake.

I think I'll go for a drive now.

breaker one-nine, for a radio check, comeon?

2005-06-05T19:32:00.000-05:00

Summer's here, and for me, that meant a trip back to Ohio. Haven't had a summer go by without Camp CHOF in the last fourteen years, why start now, eh?

The trip back was exciting enough. My sweet mom flew out to Missouri, just so she could ride all the way back with me. Which, granted, has it's pluses and minuses, but overall, it was nice to have someone to talk to. We took our time, kinda. The plan was to stop anywhere that seemed interesting and check it out. That didn't happen as much as I figured. See, once I'm on the road, I'm kinda set for the goal of seeing that powder-blue arch welcoming me to the Buckeye state. Anything but that and and the do-or-die, absolutely necessary, dam-bursting pottie breaks, usually doesn't phase me. Well, we did stop at the most interesting places. Once in St. Louis... Where I was unbelieveably irritated (not a fan of driving a boat around in city traffic.) And then we stopped at Blue Springs Cafe... Home of the Foot-Hi Pie, and the world's coldest bathroom. No joke. Freezing. I think it used to be a meat-locker or something. Even the hand-dryer blew cold air.

The most entertaining element of the trip, by-far, was the CB radio.

--so, this has been sitting here as a draft for oh two months now... procrastination man strikes again. well. i'm going to post it anyway. it was going to be funny... well, that was the plan anyway. as i look back on it, i skipped over many good stories that happened on the way; like east St. Louis. right hurr. i was distracted by the CB radio story... which isn't all that great. some guy kept talking to this trucker and the trucker just said 'copy that' over and over again. it was really funny when i was on the road... but now that i think back, pretty lame. so, i will post this as a reminder to myself of my wrongdoing. like the pile of rocks left over Akin's family after their stoning. (Biblical reference... for more on that, visit Camp CHOF in 2006! -- or read this blog throughout the year, 'cause i'll probably be all about that all year. --)

freefall

2005-05-09T09:11:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, as I was searching thru the $5.50 movie bin at Wal-Mart.. I came across Point Break. What is Point Break? Pre-Speed Keanu Reeves, Post-Ghost Patrick Swayze, surfing, bank robbing, and most of all, skydiving.

Ah, Skydiving. What could be better? The exhilaration, the unbelievable rush, the freedom of just floating along. (plummeting toward the earth at one-thousand feet, per every five and a half seconds...) So exciting. The thing about skydiving is: I've never done it. I've thought about it, had dreams about it, seen movies with plenty of skydiving involved. I think there is even a hand-written list of things I plan on doing before I die, including skydiving somewhere in the top five... But, I've never done it. I can sit here and plan out what I'm gonna do when I skydive, Sit here and study, think about, and get set in my mind what's gonna happen... But, in all reality, if I don't take action when I'm out there plummeting toward earth, and pull that chute at about 2,000 feet... I'm gonna end up like Wile E. Coyote... An accordion.

That's the problem, I know what to do and when to do it, how to fix things, prevent things, even make things happen... But the action is not there. I don't pull that chute. So, now for the last four weeks of college, I live with my brother. And, I flush a whole lotta money I don't have... down the proverbial drain. I would like to make it all better and give myself some advice, like 'buck up little camper', but that's not helping. I always say that the key is to learn from mistakes... Move on, grow, adapt, overcome, and come out better in the end. Well, I'm about as good at that as I am at skydiving.

untitled.

2005-04-20T01:46:00.000-05:00

my mind drifts
to a time, when i needed
the world so large
water fountains just out of reach
my mind drifts
to a time, when i wondered
the world so fantastic
why are the trees so high?
my mind drifts
to a time, when i hated
the world so bland
rainbows bore me
my mind drifts
to a time when i was sure
the world so small
soda tastes better anyway
my mind drifts
to a time not long ago

That which we are capable of feeling, we are capable of saying.

2005-04-14T23:33:00.000-05:00

-- Cervantes

This post, online journal, 'blog', whatever you want to call it; has taken a wrong turn. I'm here to change it back, before it goes too far. I'm like the guys big companies hire to 're-think' the companies direction. Only difference; I'm very anti-cheese. Meaning, I don't like 'purpose statements'. The only time I would use a purpose statement, is to mock them. But, I will say that this was not for posting randomness, or meaningless trite crap. The last posts being just that. See, this 'blog' -- I suppose I will stick with the hip webspeak for simplicity. This blog was a kind of experiment. I have been told, that I have a problem communicating. That I don't let people get close to me, to know me. For years I didn't let myself believe it. I knew it... I knew why I would talk about nothing all the time. It had nothing to do with the Sienfeld show, only with masking myself to the world. I would rather people didn't know how I felt, so I may escape the pain of rejection. I fear rejection more than anything... No loss, no heartache could compare. Well, that's the way it works in my fears... Not necessarily in reality.

Throughout my life things, instances, and people have shaped me into what I am today. I have finally realized, indeed, I do suck at communication. This realization came slowly, starting with my friends and I joking about not keeping in touch. But, it was still no big deal to me. Those people were far away at college. I'm not going to keep them in the loop of my all-too-boring life. But more lessons came... Some hit closer to home. Thus, the institution of this very 'blog'. It was to be a kind of 'practice' at being more open. A training ground of sorts. And even here on the 'net, I try my same old tricks. And I'm sorry. Not that the few readers of this will be offended, I'm just sorry to myself. I'm letting myself down.

ice dream

2005-04-07T04:57:00.000-05:00

so... i actually haven't written this yet... and, uhh... i plan to, i just... haven't.

edit: i'm never going to really do this... i'm sorry. basically, i like ice cream, and i have really wanted to get some for oh, two weeks now, and drama was involved. that is all.

high fives

2005-04-07T04:55:00.000-05:00

i hope to post these on the sidebar... one day.

but for now, here goes:

-Film-
Spanglish
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Love Actually
The Village
only one left... gotta make it count.
Garden State

-Music-
Death Cab For Cutie
The Postal Service
Jack Johnson
The Professional Americans

(notable: copeland, and i'm diggin' the shins.)

-Food-
Tuscan Chicken
Stuffed Mushrooms
Pumpkin Muffin (with milk)
Jimmy Johns
Andy's Custard

-Something Else-
iTunes
i really want to see Sin City.
ice cream

-Cars-
jeep
jeep
jeep
mini cooper
jeep

The first day of the rest of my life.

2005-04-01T12:08:00.000-06:00

Well, Spring Break is officially over, which means we will now start to have decent weather here in the Queen City. I learned a lot over the break. I learned the beauty and utter simplicity of iTunes, where I promptly spent over a hundred dollars... Yeah. Smart one. I learned a whole lotta useful stuff too, about myself, others, God. The big question is, will I just have this knowledge, or will I use this knowledge - transforming it to wisdom. Will I change what needs to be changed, or just continue down the wrong path? Each day is a new beginning, a new chance to apply truth in your life, to grow closer to Him.

College Days - Phase I is now over. Sad, really. I was lucky enough to have two high-schoolers living right here with me. These two wise, wise fellows, having seen the world and all it has to offer, knowing that all the answers lie in how much cologne you use in the morning. And, by golly, they were on their way to the top. I think Ralph Lauren could retire on the money he makes from those two. They didn't actually shower with water all week, they just took their massive barrels of Polo in with them, and soaked themselves in that lovely scent. I guess they liked me enough the'. Glad to know I am accepted. I was feigning sleep this morning, so that I wouldn't have to talk to the fellows (I wouldn't want to embarrass myself... You know.) and I overheard them say I was the best roommate possible. And then they talked about stealing my stuff. They only took the free food, so no worries. I just can't wait for Phase II. I can't imagine I will be blessed with roommates of the same caliber as these two were, I can only hope.

Spring Frills.

2005-03-23T03:50:00.000-06:00

Disclaimer (AKA the "fine print"): So, It's about four in the mornin'... And I feel like a-postin'. I warn you now, don't expect anything overly meaningful, or even well-written.

Ahh, Spring Break. A time for booze-ing' and carousing... Partyin' down in Cancun... South Padre... Beer, chicks, video cameras, embarrassed parents watching their princess on late-nite T.V. Like that great hair band Slaughter said; Up all nite. Sleep all day. That's right.

Well... For me, it's a bit different. My partying will take place right here in good 'ol Springfield, MO. Home of...

Yeah.

So, here I am. Interesting things happening lately tho'. I have come to several life-changing conclusions, which I may impart here when I am not so tired. But the most exciting thing happened just yester... Well, technically two days ago, on Monday. I was at work. And, well it had been a long day. The big-wigs were coming in on Tuesday, so we had to make the place spic-and-span, so-to-speak. We scrubbed, mopped, scrubbed some more, all in-between making salads, sandwiches and the like.
It hadn't been the busiest of days, but certainly not the slowest either. The end of the nite came, and I was hastily wrapping up my close, making sure everything was stocked for the morning crew. Tomatoes, onions, napkins, bowls, that kinda thing. One, it's a nice thing to do, and two, it really saves a lot of time for them, and in the long run, for me when I have to close again the next nite. By this time, we really could have left, but we were all waiting on Cody the boy-wonder, to get finished with his dishes. So... I thought I would stock the frill picks. In case the term "frill picks" confuses you, I will explain: Frill picks are ordinary tooth-picks, with little plastic 'fringies'. We at Panera, shove these little darlings into your sandwich, for the sole purpose of amusing adolescents, as they can decorate our ceiling tiles with them. Anyway, as I was refilling the jar of to-be missiles, I came across an object which didn't seem to belong. It didn't look much like a tooth-pick at all. This object looked more like something Tony Montana would use. Ok, ok, I'll cut the suspense. It was a coke spoon. Some coke-head packed his spoon away in the frill picks. I'm not gonna lie, it kinda freaked me out.
Needless to say, we didn't use those frill picks.

Whew, I'm beat... It's almost five now. Gonna hit the hay.

Juicy Burgers, Short Hair, and Chains.

2005-03-15T02:40:00.000-06:00

Mmm... So late, just the perfect time to jot my disjointed thoughts down on the internet for the world to stumble upon and judge.

Today, was an interesting day. Well, a good portion of it was, not my classes or anything, those weren't interesting in the least. Even when Wallace went over Jonah, I was bored to tears. I really wanted a burger today. From about nine o'clock on, I was craving a juicy burger hard-core. But, for some odd reason, I considered lowering my standards for a bit, and actually partaking in cafe food. Me, in the cafe... No joke. Those Snickers' commercials don't lie, you do strange things when you are hungry. Luckily, Dan was there to shake me out of this odd state I was in. We went to Braums' instead. But, really that's not the interesting part of the day. After Braums', we went to Panera for a bit... Not to eat of course, just to hang, 'cause it's fun to hang out where you work on your day off... Right? Right? Well, we hung out, distracted people from doing their jobs... Good times. Jenn came in to work, and I didn't recognize her at all... Whenever ladies change their hair, it throws me for a complete curve. And change it she did. Heck, the first time i saw Jenn with her hair down, I didn't know who I was looking at for a bit... It took me even longer to close my mouth and get enough of my mind to work; so I could put together a complete thought, let alone a sentence. I always feel like a jerk, not complimenting a lady on her looks... Or when they change something... But, I'm usually so stunned, by the time I an formulate a complete thought in my head, the moment (or entire day) has pssed. So, that threw me for a loop, the short hair and all... Yet not the most interesting part of the day, yet. After we finally tore ourselves away from the bread company... We set sail in my Lincoln. To the dorm? No way, my ship's headed out to open waters. As we were stopped at a red light, Dan and I noticed a faint bit of steam billowing out from the hood. As this is usually not a good thing, I decided to crank on the heater, and get to a gas station. (crank on the heat, 'cause thats what you are supposed to do, if your car overheats.) So, at the corner of Grant and College streets, we found our Conoco station. Best service in town.

That was sarcasm.

If you know the area of which I speak... You would know this isn't exactly the greatest area to break down, or even hang out for more than five minutes. (unless you currently are; the scum of the earth.) But, alas, there we were. As we were waiting for the calvary (AKA Greg Sherry) we amused ourself by taking fotos and the like. My brother swung by and took me to get some parts and whatnot, thinking it may just be a broken hose or something easy. It's not so much that we were optimistic, just really, really, really, really hopeful. These hopes were dashed to pieces tho', once we attatched the needed hose. We discovered the source of our problem was the water pump. It wasn't working. The water pump is an integral part of the motor, but suprisingly is an inexpensive apparatus, buried amongst everything else you could ever want to attatch to a motor. All of this, and we still haven't reached the most interesting part of the day, yet.

We had to get my aircraft-carrier of a vehicle home, somehow. Being that there is no ocean, we couldn't take it by sea, so option 'B' was instituted. This included my brother's truck, and some chain. Yes, thats right, this is the most interesting part of the day. We had to tow my car back to BBC campus. After messing with the chains for quite a while, the car was firmly attatched to the chrome bumper of Greg's pickup. We pulled out onto College street, having to stop at the light, so we could pull onto Grant. When Greg started off, my car didn't want to move as much, and the chains came undone. So, hurriedly, Greg re-attatched my car, this time within two feet of his nice chrome bumper. Yes, my land-lubbing titanic was almost kissing that shiny bumper, and if they did sneak a kiss during this drive, it wouldn't be so romantic in my mind. We started off again, me clenching the wheel like it was a fresh baguette to a starving man. (I have to relate all things to bread, since I work at Panera and all.) I was completely helpless behind his truck. We would pull through intersections, and I could just picture a car plowing into us, as we were going down Chestnut Expressway, I could just see Greg having to dodge some idiot driver, and my car not dodging so well. Needless to say, I was a bit freaked out. But, we made it.. Safe and sound. Greg's bumper was bent a bit out of shape, but it just adds charachter to his ride. So, really, I guess the most interesting part of the day, isn't so interesting down on paper... Or the internet, but it was interesting being there. Honest.

filename: *.ism

2005-03-09T15:48:00.000-06:00

A problem with subscribing to set beliefs, or 'isms' is; once you have a comprehension of the main ideals of that belief, the main framework that the theology is built on, usually people think they have somehow arrived. That now, they have the truth and the whole truth. I'm sorry, but our finite minds will never fully grasp all of the gospel. We as men on this world, will never be able to narrow down God's beautifully intricate plan into a few succinct points. The fact that we see it as an intricate plan, should be evidence of our inability to grasp it. I'm sure it is quite a simple plan to Him. To us, however, it is a maze, and only by God's grace do we ever get a glipse of all that goes into it. When we finally gain understanding, when we finally can make sense of this bit of patchwork, and put it in line with our knowledge of the gospel, we should be humbled. What a wonderful thing it is to finally understand a bit more about God, and his master plan. Don't lord our knowledge over others, but know that God saw fit to offer you this small bit of understanding. How utterly fantastic He is, that he chose to flip that little switch inside your heart, and show you a bit of Himself. Know that you are still a totally depraved man, and this knowledge has been instilled in you by God's grace alone.

And the Lord came unto Jonah a second time saying...

2005-03-09T02:48:00.000-06:00

There are so many things flooding my head right now, I'm not sure what to write about. There are the thoughtful insights to my life, or I could rant against the latest pointless happening, or just tell about the crazy night I had. normally, I would weigh the humor factor, and the audience. There are several reasons why this course of action is not necessarily the best. One, I think i'm funny.. but most others do not. And two...

what audience?

So, I think I'll just go with my gut... And put down the most meaningful to me. There's this song by Jars of Clay. Kind of an old song, in the world of "Contemporary Christian Music" a genre which i seldom enjoy. But this ong really hits home... especially lately. It's called Worlds Apart.

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I tried so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
To give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
More deeply than the oceans,
More abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip that spear and watch the blood and water flow

This too:

Philippians 4:8-9

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

See... First off, I'm not one to say a song 'touched' me or 'hey look at this scripture, it's got something to say!'. Usually I think that kinda stuff is cheesy. Actually, I think, 'who wants to hear this stuff anyway? who really gives a rip?'. These are just theings I don't talk about often.
It's really odd, as I sit here and think about it... How anti-feelings I try to be, or think I am; yet how much I focus on feelings in reality. I never want to talk about feelings, in most respects. I feel good, I feel bad, I feel like doing this... These things I talk about. But how I feel about something, someone, some issue, how a song or picture made me feel... If it did make me feel at all. These things I'm not too keen on. And, honestly, it scares me. I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be a father or a husband, whose family doesn't know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love them. For a long time, I thought I could just show it. But, I'm not so sure that would work out as good as I think.
Inside, I think about 'em. The feelings, but I don't tell, never speak of them, like the thought police is out to get me. Feelings do indeed have a big place in my life. I am not quite the stoic I would have people to believe. I focus on feelings. I dwell on them. And therein lies a problem. I focus all my energy on how I feel. When the bible says I should think on pure, honest, true, lovely, things. Things which mirror God. This is where I should dwell. And then verse nine goes further, and says not only think on them, not only focus all my inner-self on them, but do. Do these things. My outer-self. If I dwell, and then even act on these pure things, the feelings will follow. I'm letting the proberbial cart lead. Control my thoughts, my inner-man, and everything else will fall in line.
My desire to please self, to please my own flesh, is overwhelming. It is the easy way out... yet it always makes life so hard in the end. Self-service always yields self-defeat. Sadly, I know it. I know how it will turn out in the end. Yet, I still do it. I still try and appease my idol of self-gratification. ...I'm not sure I know anything else. That's just always how I've lived life.
It's almost scary to think of changing this. What if I lose my impulsiveness? Granted, my bank account will have a bigger buffer zone, and I would save money on gas, I wouldn't have shirts i never wear, etc. But, would I be as fun? heck, do people think I am fun and impulsive anyway? Should I be focused on how people think of me? Well... no. But, that's gonna be a struggle too. A big one.

It's late. I'm out.

Just another day in paradise

2005-03-03T17:41:00.000-06:00

--Springfield, Missouri

Ah, yes. Wonderful Springfield. The birds are a-chirping away, and the sun is warming the earth, getting on toward spring-time now, eh? Just the best time of year to have Strep Throat. My face feels as it's about to explode. Now, I'm not trying to whine or complain here. Altho', from reading my posts, you may think that of me. (it just so happens, when I'm feeling winy, that's when I think about writing on this here dealy.) There are honestly dozens of things I could be grateful for; tho' I will refrain from listing them now. So, yesterday, or the day before, they run together... I came upon the realization that I had 'Strep'. It was a self-diagnosis, but a well educated one. Anyway, I was correct, for today I was officially diagnosed, prescribed, and sent on my way. Is it PREscribed or PERscribed? PRE makes more sense to me. But, I have no idea. Of course, opening another window, to check it out on m-w.com right now... Is waaay too much work. As I was saying; Yesterday or the day before, when I myself realized that Strep had taken hold of my tonsils and what-have-you, I was reminded of The Velveteen Rabbit... The children's' Story. You know, with the stuffed bunny who wants to become real? Well the kid had Scarlet Fever, which, I guess is relateable to Strep Throat, like it's a side-effect or a symptom, something. Anyways, I read the story over again, didn't take long. But, wow. Such a good story.

So, how did I get The Strep, you ask? Well, this disease did not inhabit these lands prior, no, it had to be brought by an outsider. Like the rats on trade ships to America, or like the snakes to Hawaii, or like that huge ugly South American spider, brought to the quaint town of Canaima -- via casket. Yes, this plague was brought to me, the unsuspecting victim, by none other than Dan Jones. He is the one to bring me this, this bane of my existence, this plague, this soreness of the throat. Out the window with him! Burn him at the stake, he has brought this witchcraftery upon all our heads.

Or, I could just take some Penicillin.

...either way, I'm golden.

random quote.

2005-02-18T14:45:00.000-06:00

The water is good... But it tastes better when we run it through coffee beans.

a starbucks java-jockey

Death Run Over by a Truck

2005-02-17T15:27:00.000-06:00

-- thats how i feel.

Here's the story: Two days ago, I was in a wreck. My second wreck here in good 'ol Springfield, Missouri. Wonderful place ...for wrecks. This wreck, however, was not my fault. I was minding my own business, making my way downtown, so I could give plasma, for some cash. Well, it seems I came upon an intersection (I don't recall much of this happening... so bear with.) and as I passed thru this intersection, a driver perpendicular to me, neglected to read the octagonal red sign... saying "STOP". Yeah, he ran it, and 'T-Boned' my car. Right at the front crease of the driver's side door. I don't really remember all that, 'cause I hit my head pretty hard against the side window... shattering it. All I recall, is climbing out of my car, and these two ladies asking if I was OK... ALOT. Even in my woozy state, I was determined to find out what exactly went down from these ladies. After confirming that I was indeed alive and well, I attempted to ask these ladies what happened. They really had no idea, cause they weren't outside at the time of impact, but they did say the other drivers car spun around, and was facing the wrong way now. I asked them probably seven or eight times where Kearney was, they patiently answering me every time. Nice ladies. So, back to the other driver. A sixteen-year-old, has only had his license for about two weeks, or so, and doesn't have insurance, or even his seatbelt on. (which he admitted to the police officer... who does that?) Finally the police came and took a report and whatnot... My car is totalled, and I'm getting Fourteen-Hundred bucks for it. Eh, not the three grand I would need for a Jeep, but we'll see. So, having a good week nonetheless... It was kind of a wakeup call, I guess you could say. But, I'm kinda bummed that all this had to happen. And, I'm not in a really writin' kinda mood, so this post isn't as smooth as it could be... my head hurts. So... yeah, maybe after I get some pictures of the Lumie... I'll put 'em on up here.

...or that will never happen.

...who knows?

Village People... kiss mine.

2005-02-11T02:34:00.000-06:00

So, I went to the YMCA today (from now on referred to simply as "the Y"). As I meandered thru the building, two things popped into my head; one, how easy it would have been, to not pay for a membership, and just walk in... I got all the way to the pool, no questions asked. After I was over that, it left room in my brain for a second thought. I started to remember my childhood days, goin' to the Massillon 'Y' with my brothers. They were Lifeguards, and had free memberships, so, they got me into the locker-rooms. Why would I want to go into the locker-rooms, you ask? Well, one reason and one reason only. T.V. After a while, the excitement of watching other people play 'Spy Hunter' wore off, and swimming every other day wasn't so appealing, so...T.V. The only problem with watching T.V. at the Y was... Naked men. No, no, no, we weren't watching porn or anything... It's just that it was a locker room, and after a certain age (it seemed to be 40) men have no reservations about congregating and sitting around naked watching football, or The Rockford Files. See, it was a fancy locker-room, and when you walked in, there was the T.V. area, kinda set up like a country club. At least, like the country club from Caddyshack. There were several leather chairs and couches, and the lights were low, so you could see the tube better. There was also a little candy machine in the corner, full of beer nuts. 'Cause guys like that sorta thing. But there was always, always some wrinkly old man sitting in one of the leather chairs, wearing socks and a smile. You always had to watch talking to this guy. He might be one to talk with you more later. Some guys are really talkative, and after you're done swimming or whatever, they may find you changing on the bench, and stop on by. Always, always, the 'friendly guy' comes on over, and puts one of his feet on the bench, so he can lean on it and 'shoot the breeze'. This gives you an ample view of his wrinkly little... ankle. Nobody wants that. Nobody. So, those were my memories of the Y. Reminiscing about those good times, made me kinda second-guess my new Y membership. Luckily, there wasn't a whole lotta people in the locker-room, and the ones who were seemed more concerned about changing, than talking about the big game with me. I finally got to the pool, which was rather small, only four lanes wide, whereas, the Massillon Y was six or eight lanes. No, biggie, there was only two other people in the pool, and neither were doing laps, or even actively swimming. There was one fairly portly man, floating around on a pool noodle... The entire time I was there. And some old lady talking to the Lifeguard. I did my laps and went on my way. All in all, a good Y experience. Even tho' there were no beer nuts.

Greased Lightnin'

2005-02-06T22:52:00.000-06:00

- Thats what you can call me from now on.

Or anything else signifying speed; like speedy, or... fast guy. Stuff like that. Let me explain; today, I was late for work. What happened is, I had no idea I was supposed to work today. How does that happen? Well, I'm an idiot. Let's just leave it at that. I'll actually take you back in time to the start of my day, just to give you, the reader, a better understanding of who I am... because this happens all the time. I remember waking up this morning at eight fifty-eight this morning, I say I remember, because apparently, I had been up earlier to turn off my phone alarm, and move my phone entirely... yes, it happens often. As I looked at the time, and the slow realization came to me that I was going to miss sunday school this morning, I made the commitment to myself that I was going to make it to the regular service... I was determined. This was going to happen for sure. I climbed/fell out of bed, and slowly, yet steadily got myself prepared to wake up. This, of course, means going to the bathroom. I still wasn't quite awake, but I knew what would do the trick: a shower. Yes. That will do the trick.

Its not as if the first drop of water is going to wake me up mind you, I spent probably ten to fifteen minutes just standing in the shower, trying to remember what happens after I turn on the water. By the time the shower was over, I was ready and rarin' tho'... and getting later. it was about nine fourty-nine by now, and I still had to find clothing, and whatnot. By that time, it was ten ten -ish. I did look pretty spiffy tho'. Roumor has it, service starts at ten fifteen, and it takes, at the very least - with many many broken laws thirteen minutes to get to church. Now, I bet you think you can see where this is going. Just wait it out. I left the school parking-lot at ten sixteen...

And arrived at the Gas Station at ten twenty. I needed gas, ok? Why I didn't get it the previous nite? ...one can only guess. You could say my determination waned a bit when I arrived there. In fact, by that point, I wasn't going to church. Instead, my goal for the day, was to put wipers on my car. I have had these wipers for about a week and a half, sitting in my backseat. I have needed these wipers since... well, when I bought the car, seven months ago. When I say needed them, I mean, The passenger side was only barely hanging on, altho' it worked batter than the drivers side; which was missing the whole rubber 'blade'... it did nothing but put little scratches on the glass. When there was rain, I could only see out of a small four inch hole at the bottom of the window, which I have to assume was saturated in rain-x several years ago. Only that would account for it's existence. The wipers are on my car now. Feeling like I had actually accomplished something... the loserish feeling I had from missing yet another Sunday, started to pass.

Big Descisions to make now... what to do for the next several hours?
Coffee.
Why stop there? I'll head to Krispy Kreme and get some donuts while i'm at it. Now that I have some fuel in my car, fuel for myself, and I can see out my windshield, despite the rain... I feel as if I can conquer the world... or at least I can go for a drive. Had a pretty good drive, but I was kinda missing my buddy Dan. Back to the school I went, to get the sickly fellow. After driving for several more hours, and never really getting anywhere, I decided we might head to some familiar pastures. Along the way, Dan checked my phone.

This is where it gets interesting. Stephanie had called, and not for Dan. Suddenly my capital day was askew. I was supposed to work today, and I was now fourty minutes late. Fourty minutes. 40 Yeah, Sucks. At that point, my head was swimming. Started to sweat, funny feeling in my stomoach, I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty freaked out. I drove back to the school, ran inside, leaving Dan behind in my car... when I got to my room, there were several (seven) messages from various managers... I listened to them as I hastily dressed for work, my heart beating faster as the seconds ticked away. I ran down the steps, and grabbed the phone from Dan, who was laying on the couch in the dorm lobby. He was talking to Steph at the time, and I just hung up... I wasn't really thinking clearly at the time, I hope they both understand. I ran to my car and sped out of the cafe pit, tires squealing. I fishtailed around the turn onto Benton, and sped toward Kearney. Not wanting to wait for traffic, I was only stopped at the intersection for a moment, before I saw my gap, and floored it, cutting infront of some mini-van, and a little mid-sized sedan. Weaving in and out of traffic, I took a right down a back street, to miss the red light. Slowing down for stop signs, only when neccessary, I probably peaked at seventy-three miles per hour or so. Once I was in the back neighborhoods, I called Panera to let them know I was on my way. I got to panera in a record setting three and a half minutes. OK, I didn't really time it. But, it was freakin' fast. And I committed several moving violations along the way. I think if it would have been caught on film, it could be compareable to Steve McQueen's car chase in Bullitt, only I had a much sweeter car: White '91 Chevy Lumina. woo-yeah. Burt Reynolds, eat your heart out.

I ended up being fifty-five minutes late.

nitetime stroll

2005-02-05T03:19:00.000-06:00

tonite, i went for a walk.

and i fell back in love.

back in love with art. i have thought about/tossed around the idea of painting again here at school. i especially thought about this on my trip home for christmas. tonite, this idea took new shape. i want to paint, i want to create, i want to put feeling and soul down on canvas. i fell back in love with art. real art.

those who inspired this chain of thought:

Randy Bacon
Daniel Flodin
various SMS students

i would like to thank them for doing what they do.

Professional Americans

2005-02-03T03:27:00.000-06:00

There it was, the door to the outland ballroom. the small quest to get here -- to this exciting climactic point was quite thrilling as it happened, but crazy driving isn't quite as cool on paper, or what-have-you. The Outland Ballroom, you honestly wouldn't know it was there, if you hit your face on the glass door. But that very door was our gateway to fun, excitement, and possibly stardom. I swung open that door, and looked up at what appeared to be the stairway up into destruction. this ballroom, was more like the perverbial hole in the wall. We had to press on. As we were scaling the stairs, thoughts of gas chambers, and horrible torture devices flooded my mind, but there was still a glimmer of hope. We reached the summit, only to find multiple doors. Pick the wrong one, and we may be greeted by members of Hell's Angels... Pick the correct one, and we may find ourselves on Cribs in a few days. We must choose, but choose wisely. I passed several doors up, looking for that one that caught my eye, which actually caught Dan's eye instead. There was a green sign with the words "Enter Here" printed on it. I looked for the fine print, like "to die", or "for eternal damnation"... or any such ominous sounding warnings. I found none. As we entered, I thought, I had gone to the wrong place, it looked as tho' you could fit 367 people in there, yet I saw only a band. As it turns out, the crowds were behind the amplifier. Crowds; a bit of an overstatement. There were approxiamently twenty people or so... All ready to rock out to some Professional Americans. Dan and I were ready to rock out too, altho' we had no idea what music was going to be played, or even who was doing the playing. We were just there for the free booze. (there was no booze.) Soon, the cameras were whizzing in my ear, as I was enthralled in the tunes this fine band was putting out. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to be hanging out with Depp or anything, but, after my performance, I'm well on my way.