Greased Lightnin'

- Thats what you can call me from now on.

Or anything else signifying speed; like speedy, or... fast guy. Stuff like that. Let me explain; today, I was late for work. What happened is, I had no idea I was supposed to work today. How does that happen? Well, I'm an idiot. Let's just leave it at that. I'll actually take you back in time to the start of my day, just to give you, the reader, a better understanding of who I am... because this happens all the time. I remember waking up this morning at eight fifty-eight this morning, I say I remember, because apparently, I had been up earlier to turn off my phone alarm, and move my phone entirely... yes, it happens often. As I looked at the time, and the slow realization came to me that I was going to miss sunday school this morning, I made the commitment to myself that I was going to make it to the regular service... I was determined. This was going to happen for sure. I climbed/fell out of bed, and slowly, yet steadily got myself prepared to wake up. This, of course, means going to the bathroom. I still wasn't quite awake, but I knew what would do the trick: a shower. Yes. That will do the trick.

Its not as if the first drop of water is going to wake me up mind you, I spent probably ten to fifteen minutes just standing in the shower, trying to remember what happens after I turn on the water. By the time the shower was over, I was ready and rarin' tho'... and getting later. it was about nine fourty-nine by now, and I still had to find clothing, and whatnot. By that time, it was ten ten -ish. I did look pretty spiffy tho'. Roumor has it, service starts at ten fifteen, and it takes, at the very least - with many many broken laws thirteen minutes to get to church. Now, I bet you think you can see where this is going. Just wait it out. I left the school parking-lot at ten sixteen...


And arrived at the Gas Station at ten twenty. I needed gas, ok? Why I didn't get it the previous nite? ...one can only guess. You could say my determination waned a bit when I arrived there. In fact, by that point, I wasn't going to church. Instead, my goal for the day, was to put wipers on my car. I have had these wipers for about a week and a half, sitting in my backseat. I have needed these wipers since... well, when I bought the car, seven months ago. When I say needed them, I mean, The passenger side was only barely hanging on, altho' it worked batter than the drivers side; which was missing the whole rubber 'blade'... it did nothing but put little scratches on the glass. When there was rain, I could only see out of a small four inch hole at the bottom of the window, which I have to assume was saturated in rain-x several years ago. Only that would account for it's existence. The wipers are on my car now. Feeling like I had actually accomplished something... the loserish feeling I had from missing yet another Sunday, started to pass.

Big Descisions to make now... what to do for the next several hours?
Coffee.
Why stop there? I'll head to Krispy Kreme and get some donuts while i'm at it. Now that I have some fuel in my car, fuel for myself, and I can see out my windshield, despite the rain... I feel as if I can conquer the world... or at least I can go for a drive. Had a pretty good drive, but I was kinda missing my buddy Dan. Back to the school I went, to get the sickly fellow. After driving for several more hours, and never really getting anywhere, I decided we might head to some familiar pastures. Along the way, Dan checked my phone.

This is where it gets interesting. Stephanie had called, and not for Dan. Suddenly my capital day was askew. I was supposed to work today, and I was now fourty minutes late. Fourty minutes. 40 Yeah, Sucks. At that point, my head was swimming. Started to sweat, funny feeling in my stomoach, I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty freaked out. I drove back to the school, ran inside, leaving Dan behind in my car... when I got to my room, there were several (seven) messages from various managers... I listened to them as I hastily dressed for work, my heart beating faster as the seconds ticked away. I ran down the steps, and grabbed the phone from Dan, who was laying on the couch in the dorm lobby. He was talking to Steph at the time, and I just hung up... I wasn't really thinking clearly at the time, I hope they both understand. I ran to my car and sped out of the cafe pit, tires squealing. I fishtailed around the turn onto Benton, and sped toward Kearney. Not wanting to wait for traffic, I was only stopped at the intersection for a moment, before I saw my gap, and floored it, cutting infront of some mini-van, and a little mid-sized sedan. Weaving in and out of traffic, I took a right down a back street, to miss the red light. Slowing down for stop signs, only when neccessary, I probably peaked at seventy-three miles per hour or so. Once I was in the back neighborhoods, I called Panera to let them know I was on my way. I got to panera in a record setting three and a half minutes. OK, I didn't really time it. But, it was freakin' fast. And I committed several moving violations along the way. I think if it would have been caught on film, it could be compareable to Steve McQueen's car chase in Bullitt, only I had a much sweeter car: White '91 Chevy Lumina. woo-yeah. Burt Reynolds, eat your heart out.


I ended up being fifty-five minutes late.